Title: atomicgirl Peek at the Universe

Gender: Female

Age: 37

Sun Sign: Libra

Chinese Sign: Water Rat

Location: East Coast, Planet Earth, Milky Way

My vision/intuition is acute and  yet I have not found the balance. I am a Libran forever dipping this way; and that, though as I get older the swings are much less rambunctious. Balance is my daily and lifelong goal, along with striving toward humility, openness, a greater capacity to love, receptivity to life's lessons, spirit's teachings, synchronisities reminders. 

   My strength and conviction in my beliefs, passion/emotionality and overwhelming compassion for people, life, love and truth fuel my existance.

I am and have always been in tuned or navigating/guided toward or back to the universal energy/spirit. Even as a child I knew fantasy from reality without being told. I am frequently infused with wisdom beyond my years and serve as angel servant at times.


I am divine, yet human, as we all are, and I trust my spirit first before all things. I Am pure spirit unwinding and feel a need for connection with a like minded community, from which I will learn and contribute.  

I've had experiences too many to count. I'm 36 and just a baby. I'm educated from street to institution, to foreign journeys and beyond. Therefore I am philosophical, and tell stories with sprout out of my brain like a soothsayer enchanted. I am alive and almost unable to contain my own energy. I am in the midst of an evolution within, standing still yet moving over moutains and balancing a universe in the palm of my hand.

I am a humanist. I don't believe in race. We are all of the human race. I embrace all three corners of my ancestry and yet I believe that our true identities are infinite reflections of the universe and have nothing to do with our bodily existances much less our complexions or even our blood lines. Not everyone can understand what it's like to have a society trying to lable them with some classifcation which isn't relevant, on top of trying to diminish the value of the person, unconsciously, due to their classification.  And unfortunately the people with distinguishable melanin endure the brunt of this particular oppression. Classifications of race (in America) are prisons of the mind, and spirit, and it is not enough to sit back and know we are evolving, growing and leaning into the light.  We must not allow falsity perpetuate itself. 
We are ONE.

So in a way I am a warrior for change, because sadly, most people are not as open minded and liberated in their thinking as the folks who engage in this forum.

Even without our knowing, prejudices, however small, seek to imprison our minds, including race and any such doctrines designed to deflate our voices, our passions an our self realization. 

I am a lover, with the character of having cherished my body as my temple but also with full freedom to express and feel uninhibitedly. I am a dancer in tuned with the spinning rhythm of the universe. I am natural. I don't get embarassed easily so I can act pretty dorky and just not care. Another quality of my physical presence is that of femininity.  I suppose it's also strange because I'm also percieved as very strong. 

I am often called quirky, eccentric, unique, strange, dorky, funny, ecclectic, bohemian, etc, but I don't think I fit into any of these boxes, though I take them as compliments when they come. I am often mistaken as a vegetarian, but I am not one. They say Im an idealist, a hopeless romantic, earthy,  positive beyond compare and that only I could say, or wear or do, and get away with the things I say, wear, and do. Maybe it's true?

I am energetic, and fiercely curious, misleading most to disbelieve my age. I am full of love overflowing and thirsty for learning. I am almost deaf, but not numb from lack of stimulation from those around me. And the silence is compounded by the fact that I havent  been a watcher of TV (English) in 9 years since Europe 97. I did watch Japanese programs from time to time during my stay there from 2000-2002. But I didnt know what in the world they were talking about lol.  My brain is Static free. Though I would like to start watching National Geographic and the History Chanel :) sometime soon.

So if you have some beautiful or magical message for me, don't shout, in fact, first try telepathy, energy transcends space and time.

I am a teacher of children with learning disabitlies. And I think I learn as much from them as they learn from me on a daily basis :)

I am open to the synchronicities which happen frequently in my life.

I don't like liquor, none at all, not even wine. I'm high off life and you can sense it in the pitch of my voice, the wideness of my eyes, the fluff of my curls, the colors radiating through and all around me, the sincerity of my smile, the compliments I spread like star dust, the bounce in my step, the tilt of my head, the warmth emmanating from my heart, and the way I love, family and friends alike.

I've still got a lot of growing to do, though I am quite mature. But the path never ends, right?  I am not extraordinary any more than you if you are at all smiling or shaking your head, “yes.” Sometimes I am “just a girl in the world” like Gwen Stephani says and other times ” I am woman: hear me roar!” And yet, underneath it all as Pink Floyd sings, “Is there any body out there,” sometimes I feel Im standing out there on the edge of the universe wondering how I've traveled so far and yet feel like I have so much to learn, and so much growth to experience, and I wonder if I have learned anything in this past 33 years at all.

I write but do not call myself a writer or a poet. When I write it's as if the words  pour onto the page, without second guessing them as they come down. Since childhood I have used writing as a tool to communicate, as well as connect things closely to my cosmic understanding of them, it's like there are two me-s talking to each other. That sounds strange, I know. But writing is very much a part of who I am. Here is a sample of a longer piece:

“…where there is nothing promised but so much to behold, where the spirit rests, and rises and fills any space, where the old lovers fell in the dust as I walked away corners of my love and wisdom raised for each and every one, where my jeans leave a crease, and my heart in quotidian fashion leans toward hope and light, where you are I am, where we are, wherever that may be, and whenever, were are one, and in the solitude of my existance I hold on for there's nothing left to do, and in the time I'm holding Im percieving and concieving, praying and believing, loving and yes teaching, learning and discerning; Im questioning and knowing, and Im most certainly a' growing. As you may or may not recall, I'm not what you see, not even in the slightest. These eyes say more if you could translate the code of white and brown, with nuclei of wells so deep you' be reaching for a lifetime just to dip your finger in the mist rising above the coolness, of the breaze inside my fractaling spirit unwinding, along with yours, and everyone elses. lol. Yes, our human perceptions are just this absurd, and yet we let the corruption continue and the innocent die and we're helpless like polywogs, otherwise known as tadpols which swim furiously to escape our morbid child curiosities, even to simply know one another by opening our hearts.
It's a wonder I'm not crying. But then again, I'm full of love, and the tears which forged this freedom gave planets their oceans. So I'm delirous and I wish to hold your hands, with everyone's and mine, a global circle, and we'd make a charge of such a magnitude that all wrongs would be reversed and our planet would be healed, prisons emptied would be collapsed into the firey center of our earth, we be spun backward geologically to balance and harmony… . where the so called sins pile up, and are discarded by remembering that we're here to love and celebrate this precious life we live…” 12/05 SDB


If my words speak to you, it is simply the cosmic consciousness sending out love radiation and knowledge to you, through me. So, I seek readers and writers, philosophers and fellow babblers and travelers. I have many “keepers,” and even angels and guiding ancestors in my presence who nurture me. But as of yet I have not connected with the the life force wich must have been born at the same juncture of the universe as my own, and I believe there is a He who is. So, I seek angels, artists, thinkers, humanists, people commited to growing, and The One.

I am standing here before you. You are looking at me and listening to my story. I am wondering what you think of me. I hope you have much to teach me.

There is much more to say, but I'll leave you with that chunky stream of coinsciousness :)

Namaste-Matane Edamame Mama Madame B., Scottye, Cosmic Cactus or Starfish

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